**Disclosure** This is MY blog. These are my OPINIONS. I am not judging any mom in any way. I have NOT had an easy road in motherhood. Read my bio before you leave a nasty comment about how I just don’t understand how hard you have it. I am not bashing you if you practice self-care. I am just simply saying that self-care may NOT be the answer to your problem if you are not prioritizing taking care of yourself at all. I am also just saying that as moms we already have a LOT on our plates and self-care isn’t something else that I personally want to add to my checklist. Still with me? Read on mama!
I keep hearing it EVERYWHERE.
I am seeing it EVERYWHERE.
And now I’m thinking about all the things that I haven’t done today and on top of it I haven’t taken care of myself. Oh the drama!
Are we serious? We have gotten to the point that we are tired of being the selfless mothers and now we need to practice self-care to “rejuvenate” ourselves? (Insert eye roll) But really … isn’t having a “self-care” ritual still emphasizing to ourselves that we are so selfless that we have to force ourselves to prioritize the “self”?
I get it. I really do. Life is hard. Going to work every single day is hard. Taking care of tiny little people every day is hard. Life is hard, no matter whose it is. I get that sometimes we put higher values on certain things and that’s what we do with our time. Then later we regret having prioritized our life that way. BUT these are choices.
This whole self-care thing is so dramatic.
If you choose to prioritize your work over sleep or yoga or reading a romance while drinking a cup of hot tea in your fuzzy socks… that’s YOUR choice.
If you choose pick up the house and fold a few loads of laundry during nap time instead of sitting down, listening to harp music and smelling incense for an hour… that’s YOUR choice.
Since when did we as grown adults become so incapable of deciding what’s best for our own lives? Since when did we as grown adults lose our own free will and forget how to take care of ourselves?
Are there really moms out there that aren’t showering or eating or drinking water every day because they are SO BUSY with their kids?
If you are one of those moms you may need to take a step back and ask yourself why? You don’t need to read another self-care post about how to make yourself feel better with essential oils and bath bombs. You need to figure out WHY you feel so inferior in your own life. Why do you feel the need to ALWAYS put yourself last?
My kids are my job. They are my life. They are attached to me 24/7. I am still eating. I am still drinking water. I am still up moving around everyday. I get dressed (in yoga pants) and brush my teeth.
The fact that there are checklists floating around on the internet that have you checking off how many times you’ve eaten today and how many times you’ve brushed your teeth blows me away!
I am an organized person. Like really organized! I plan my kids activities for the week. I plan our meals. I plan my Instagram and Pinterest posts. But I have not gotten so far lost in my life that I need to schedule normal, necessary bodily maintenance.
The thing about this new self-care craze is that it makes me question whether I really am taking care of myself or not. Self care on a budget, self-care when you are tired, self-care for SAHMs, self-care for anxiety, self-care for Saturdays….. I mean its honestly exhausting. It’s just one more thing that is floating around on Pinterest that makes me feel like I might just be missing out on something.
Don’t fall for it guys. This self-care thing is the new “fad diet” of emotional health. Please don’t add self-care to your already long list of things that you aren’t going to get accomplished today. Give yourself a pass on this one.
We as moms already have a ton on our plate. But we are MOMS. We signed up for this job. Its our thing. Its our calling. Sometimes its going to keep us up at night , sometimes we are going to go three days without a shower, sometimes we are going to eat the crumbs at the bottom of the chip bag because everyone else ate the whole chip pieces.
Its okay. It’s a season. It’s okay to not put yourself first all the time. It is okay to back burner your own “self-care” for a season. Sure, I would love to try some of these wonderful evening routines or Saturday pick me up tips and tricks but the reality is I have a 1 and 3-year-old. I honestly don’t have that much extra time on my hands. I have a husband that travels and stays in hotels at least 4 nights a week so no I am not showering alone everyday. Its 100% okay!
I refuse to buy into this new idea that there is something wrong with my life because I haven’t had time to read a book in over a year. I LOVE to read! But I also LOVE to cuddle babies, and make peanut butter and jelly and clean dirty footprints off the floor. I will read again one day. I am not going to force it into my schedule today just because someone else thought that’s what I should do. If I honestly felt like my happiness was in jeopardy because I wasn’t reading I would find a way to make reading a priority. I am not going to make reading a priority because a self-care article says I’m not taking care of myself if I don’t.
If you really, really feel like you are missing out on personal time then do something about it.
Drink more water, figure out a way to wind down at the end of the day, shower alone, read a book… Just do it. Take control of your own life. Stop expecting these self-care tips to make you feel better. They wont. The fuzzy socks, and essential oil rub down will make you feel good in the moment but it’s not going to make up for the fact that you aren’t prioritizing yourself where YOU feel like you should.
If you need more alone time, schedule it! If you are feeling totally fine with how things are going then don’t let the self-care craze make you question it.
Am I way off here? How do you feel about mandated self-care?